What Happened When I Tried Microdosing For Social Anxiety – Guest Blog Post by: Shannon Ullman, MissMarijuana.org
Social situations make me extremely anxious. Most people who know me probably don’t realize this, because I put on a pretty normal front. However, the thought of being locked in conversation with someone makes my skin crawl.
Having social anxiety makes life more difficult than it has to be, as social situations are often key to success and happiness.
Sometimes, I sit on my laptop, browsing Meetups or Facebook events that I’d love to join. I often save them, join groups, or RSVP to events, but when the time comes, I never show up.
It feels like I’m a prisoner of social anxiety, because my inner, true self wants to live life, to meet people, and try new things, even though I have intentions to get out there, that social anxiety monster holds me back.
I’ve tried reframing the way I look at social situations, meditating, and giving myself pep talks – none of it seems to work. Somehow, I’ve managed to live a normal life without becoming a total recluse, but it becomes ridiculously taxing.
The emotional preparation to even step out the door gets to be a little too much. The worst is when I have to prepare for physical reactions to social situations too.
I often get nervous stomach aches so I avoid eating certain foods when I know I have to go out and socialize. I frequently have panic attacks in situations that I feel I can’t control, and in social environments, I’m usually at the mercy of the group.
So, I decided to experiment with microdosing for social anxiety. Cannabis has always made me more paranoid, so I was pretty hesitant to use it as a solution for…well, anxiety. But, I’ve read the research, and have heard from others that microdosing can help, so I gave it a shot.
At the time, I was living in Breckenridge, Colorado, and had access to legal dispensaries. I had bought some 5mg edibles and decided to take one before a day out with friends. I felt my usual nervous stomach ache coming on, but ate the edible anyway.
Our day was spent wandering around the main strip in Breck, and between walking and talking, I forgot all about the edible.
It wasn’t until we went to our first bar that it started to kick in. It happened slowly though, just enough for me to notice I felt a little different. For a few moments, I felt a wave of anxiety; a familiar worry that I would get too high and lose control.
Fortunately, it passed as I realized that the high was present, but didn’t seem to get any more intense. It leveled out, giving me the feeling of one foot in a normal state, and one foot in an elevated state. I felt like I had control.
Once I sunk into my high, the anxiety faded away. I didn’t feel irritable while waiting for my beer, or annoyed at groups of snowboarders talking way too loud. I didn’t spend any time anxiously scoping out the bathrooms and the exits in each bar or restaurant.
Best of all, I wasn’t worried about becoming too high to function. Everything was in balance and I felt at ease.
Microdosing allowed me to relax enough to actually listen to the conversation amongst my friends. It allowed me to stop the constant stream of thoughts about what I would eat for dinner, if my parents were proud of me, or if I was going in the right direction with my life.
Everything faded and I was able to enjoy the moment I was in.
Up until then, I’d mostly had negative experiences with cannabis; ones that sent me into a spiral of panic, anxiety, and sickness.
I was shocked that the same plant could actually do the opposite in a smaller dose. This experience not only helped my social anxiety that day, but it also helped me look at cannabis in a whole new light. And, it prompted me to give the plant another chance to help me heal.
Microdosing helped Shannon curve her social anxiety. There are many benefits of utilizing plant medicine – I encourage all the readers to play with various strains, dosages, and forms of administration to find the perfect balance for your body.
Shannon is the creator of MissMarijuana.org, a health, wellness, and lifestyle site for women who use cannabis. Her goal is to normalize marijuana, and empower women to use it for healing and wellness. For more cannabis lifestyle content, please visit MissMarijuana.org, or follow her on Instagram.